{"product_id":"salty-the-halloween-bitter-old-fart","title":"Salty, The Halloween Bitter Old Fart","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003eEvery Halloween, the Salty Old Fart had one rule: “Take ONE piece of candy!”\u003cbr\u003eNaturally, every kid took two.\u003cbr\u003eBy 8:00 p.m., he’d confiscated three plastic swords, argued with a six-year-old vampire, and accused a ghost of “casing the joint.”\u003cbr\u003eFinally, one brave little trick-or-treater asked, “Why are you so BITTER?\"\u003cbr\u003eThe old man grunted, reached into his pumpkin, and handed him a piece of candy.\u003cbr\u003e“Because when I was your age, we got apples.”\u003cbr\u003eThe kid stared at him.\u003cbr\u003e“That’s horrible.”\u003cbr\u003eThe Salty Old Fart nodded. “Exactly. Now get off my porch.” \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Pinheads","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":67600497082581,"sku":null,"price":12.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0699\/9831\/3685\/files\/rn-image_picker_lib_temp_08d58285-cdd2-4d21-bf3c-f9d7f845abd3.jpg?v=1790844537","url":"https:\/\/pinheadspins.myshopify.com\/products\/salty-the-halloween-bitter-old-fart","provider":"Pinheads","version":"1.0","type":"link"}